In this third and final instalment of this three-part series, I will focus on effective strategies and suggest practical tips on how to manage and support children’s behaviour. Throughout this instalment I will be using my preferred term of ‘reactive behaviour’ instead of ‘challenging behaviour’.

Asking for the behaviour that you want

Asking for the behaviour that you want may seem like a simple task, and therefore a strategy that is often overlooked. As practitioners, we know the behaviour that we want and expect, however do we communicate this clearly to a child? The foundation for supporting and promoting behaviour effectively should be consistent and clear. Set the behavioural expectations and remind your students of them as much as possible, using visuals where appropriate to support.

If you have classroom ‘rules’, include the children in deciding upon them, stick to them as much as possible and be clear of any consequences of not following the rules (again, in age and developmentally appropriate ways). When ‘rules’ change, it can be unsettling for a child who is familiar with the rules and routines, which could trigger further reactive behaviour when they are changed without explanation.

The language that we use and how we communicate is very important when teaching children appropriate behaviour. For example, you may tell a child “don’t run in the classroom”. Although you have clearly told them what not to do, you have not told them what they should do instead. Instead, you should tell a child to “walk in the classroom”. Likewise, if you tell a child that they have "sat well", you have praised them but not explained what part of their sitting has been good. Instead, say “well done for sitting with your hands on your lap”. 

Role modelling

Children often learn through examples and as a practitioner you can be a very effective teaching resource. Model the behaviour you want at every possible opportunity throughout the day and foster a learning environment where every child feels valued and respected. You can also plan specific activities which encourage children to take turns and share resources, with you supporting and guiding the activity. Utilise these opportunities to demonstrate to the children how to share and talk through some of their emotions and how they are feeling as they engage with an activity.

It is also important to praise and thank your colleagues within the classroom. By regularly using words of gratitude and labelling a colleague’s actions, such as saying “thank you Sarah for picking up the toys” etc, it provides further opportunities for children to learn through role modelling.

Working in partnership with parents/carers

Working in partnership with parents/carers can be one of the most important and effective strategies that you can implement. They know their child the best and can tell you important information about what they like or dislike, what is working well at home and what is not working so well. It is important that parents/carers are included and have a voice in any plans and other strategies that you put into place, so you are working together in a clear and consistent way to support their child.

There will be times when you have to share information with a parent about a child’s day and sometimes this may include incidents of reactive behaviour. When you talk to them about this, be aware of how and where you are talking to them. Although you may have to discuss something that can be difficult for them to hear, be reassuring and finish the conversation with something positive about their child’s day. Think about where the conversation is taking place, are you talking about it at the classroom door in front of other parents or are you talking to them away from where others can overhear?

It is additionally good practice to share general information to all parents about ‘typical’ ages and stages of behaviour and how they can support their child at home. One behaviour that comes up a lot within my practice is biting. Biting can be distressing for both children and their parents/carers, therefore try and be pro-active by sharing regular information about behaviours such as biting with them. This provides opportunities for parents/carers to gain some understanding around why some children may bite and how the setting responds to it. This is far more effective than putting information out after an incident has occurred.

Managing your own expectations

It is important to set your own expectations from the earliest point possible, based upon each child’s specific needs and stage of development. Although you want to challenge children to encourage them to develop and progress, managing responsive behaviour needs to happen in small and achievable steps. Setting your expectations too high at the beginning can lead to greater frustration for you and the child when the expectations cannot be met.

To successfully redirect and change responsive behaviour, you must start small and build upon your goals with the child over time. Any strategy that you implement is going to take time for a child to acknowledge and respond to, you must be patient and not rush the process. It is good practice to regularly reflect upon the strategies and goals that you have implemented, to assess if they continue to be effective and appropriate.

Take a break!

Always remember that children’s reactive behaviour is their way of communicating their needs and wants. However, it can at times be difficult for us as practitioners. Although it is important for a child to have continuity of care, it is equally as important for your own wellbeing to take a break from supporting a child. Work as a team and take turns in supporting a child throughout the day so you are not letting your own feelings overwhelm you and make a difficult situation even more challenging.

Too often we think about taking a break from a child as being ‘unprofessional’ or as a ‘failure’, but we really need to challenge this perception of ourselves. Working and supporting children can be challenging. Taking a few moments out to self-regulate and take a breath will be much more effective for you and the child, than letting yourself get overwhelmed.

Key points from this series

This is the final instalment of this series around children’s behaviour, so to conclude I wanted to draw together some of the key points from across the series;

• Reframing ‘challenging behaviour’ to ‘reactive behaviour’ can change how we think and approach it .
• Children use behaviour as a form of communication. The more we try to understand and can interpret a child’s behaviour the easier it is to manage and redirect it.
• Supporting children who present with reactive behaviour can be challenging, however, if you remain patient, consistent and clear in the behaviour you expect, it will become more manageable and less frequent.
• Strategies should be reviewed regularly to assess their effectiveness and consider if an alternative approach is needed.
• Make referrals to other professionals for further support and advice if needed.
• Safeguarding children should be the priority and if you have any concerns regarding a child’s behaviour, ensure you always follow your settings policies and procedures in reporting them.